Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Bugs the Pug

the Sobczak household welcomed in a new guest last week: a 5 1/2 year-old, personality-filled black pug named Bugs!

Bugs, along with another pug, had been living with a family with zero percent knowledge of how to properly take care of pugs, as evidenced by their history of leaving both pugs outside all day. in Texas. (fyi - because pugs have short snouts they can't cool themselves off as well as , say, a golden retriever can and are prone to dangerous overheating).

To that family's credit, they voluntarily turned Bugs and Maximus over to Pug Hearts, a pug rescue non-profit foundation recently established in Houston. Pug Hearts takes in abused or abandoned pugs and puts them into foster homes (like ours) until a suitable adopting home can be found for them.

Grace and I visited the foundation's owners' home last Sunday for one of their periodic board meetings and were able to meet up with many of the other pugs under Pug Hearts' care at the moment. It was pretty much pug crazy over there, probably about twenty or so pugs in attendance, good times were had by all.

Bugs is a quintessential pug: expressive face, loud snorting, loves being around people; after a long day at work you'd think you were the greatest thing since sliced bread from the freaked-out happy reaction he gives you when you walk through the door. He also behaves very well around our cat so he'd be a good candidate for a lot of different homes. Here's some pics of the little guy:



Friday, April 13, 2007

curse you fox

it's just criminal...

on Fox NEWS subtitle underneath video feed of news report:

"Apples Used to Distract Panda's during Health Checkups"

spot the error? congratulations, you must have graduated from elementary school.

hey Rupert Murdoch: quality control, you jerk!!

Monty Python & the Newly Rediscovered Humor

most people already know that the clever chaps of Monty Python put together some very humorous pieces of work; for me, the movies were a bit more entertaining than the T.V. show maybe due in part to some of the television skits being predicated on the viewer having some in-knowledge of British politics or society or whatever.

the first Monty Python movie i ever saw was Monty Python and the Holy Grail, during my teenage years; having watched it again not too long ago, i made note that the funniest part of the movie to me during the re-viewing was not the same scene that had left me in stitches during the first go-around (that being the Black Knight hilariously losing all of his limbs in combat with King Arthur, with no accompanying loss of bravado).

the scene whose dialogue had me cracking up most recently was one that i recall barely registering during my first time watching The Grail; it's probably typical, when younger you find more humor in visual gags and simpler setups and as you age you become increasingly more aware of subtle humor, wordplay, etc.

what was formerly known to me as "the part that is one or two scenes before the Black Knight part" is now the "humorous look at probable real-life reactions of the populus to fairy-tale-style methods of ascendancy to control over a country or people". to spread the wealth and hopefully put a smile on your face , i share the transcript of that scene here

ARTHUR = King Arthur
DENNIS, WOMAN = common peasants sifting through a muddy crevasse

(please employ British accents in your mind as appropriate when reading; also, the best parts have been placed in bold for emphasis of the truly masterful bits of writing):
____________________
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knights live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you?


that's the kind of humor that i respect; writing that takes a concept you wouldn't think twice about in the context of fictional tales (Lady of the Lake making Arthur king. sure, why not?) and turning it on its ear. classic

Thursday, March 22, 2007

sci-fi teethbrushing

like most adults who meet a minimum standard of personal responsibility, i brush my teeth three times per day (my normal level is twice but having been afflicted with braces for the last year and nine months it's somewhat of a necessity to brush after lunch at work so as not to be physically repulsive to those around me during conversations).

and like some i have moved into the world of motorized tooth-cleaning apparati; i had used a pretty inexpensive disposable-battery-powered brush for a while, but recently my wife bought me the same one that she uses, the Oral B Sonic Vitality. still pretty inexpensive, something like $20, but does the job well enough.

i love the fact that the Vitality has a timing mechanism; once you turn it on, it runs for two minutes and then delivers a pulsating wind-down signal to let you know "ok that's good enough for now, stop brushing before you go through the enamel and start hitting dentine." i have come to accept that i require this external source of discipline for my tooth care; i'm just waiting for the dental products industry to develop a floss that wraps itself around my fingers and compels me to do the extra in-between-tooth work.

The $20 investment also moves me out of the realm of Duracell AA's and into rechargable battery territory; what i did not bargain for in this purchase was the ensuing sense of puzzlement that this toothbrush set has provided in that regard.

the toothbrush is made of solid, hard plastic; at the bottom of the toothbrush is a small recessed cavity. the recharging station is a simple affair; an entirely plastic base upon which is fashioned a small plastic peg.

Recharging station peg A fits into toothbrush cavity B; in this manner (as pictured on the link) the toothbrush is left to recharge over the course of several hours.

http://www.oralb.com/us/products/power/vitality/?source=eds

now i was never a man who particularly excelled at the sciences but the times in which i have mused about or witnessed examples of battery power and recharging, it was always strictly a metal-to-metal contact point affair.

what manner of dark arts is Oral B tampering with to achieve battery recharging with all-plastic components? i'm not exactly sure, but somehow i feel there's a military application for whatever it is they've created. maybe Oral B is a subsidiary company of Raytheon...

anyways, i'm sure the simple answer is out there on the interweb but for now i'd like to stay in my blissfully ignorant cocoon, continuing to believe that Oral B has signed some pact with the devil to make The Toothbrush That Should Not Be (Recharging).

anyone care to burst my bubble with some truth?

Pre-judging someone: the commuting way!

i know that we are all human beings out there (except for the animals and plants) and that everyone by default should have a chance to present themselves fully before any character judgments are assessed about them, but if i'm driving behind you on our nation's roadways and one or both of these items adorn your car....

1) sticker of Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes fame) urinating on some logo or symbol - to communicate your personal disdain for whatever said urine-soaked logo or symbol represents

2) a pair of large metal testicles ( "brass balls", possibly?) hanging from your trailer hitch - to communicate just what a larger-than-life sum'bitch you are

....i have no choice but to deduct 50 respect points (for each infraction) from your total character score. i'm sorry, them's the rules.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

offbeat poetry

6:45 a.m., bathroom, on a workday.

it was almost beautiful in a way, an exhibition of motion and the dimensions and interactions of separate objects in a fixed space.

a used-up toothpaste tube, all its resources extracted, its purpose as container fully met; its final destination a trashcan, as it should be.

so simple, a casual toss of the tube into the small refuse bin and the cycle would be complete.

but cottony two-ply fate, soft and plush, suspended above the bin, intervened. the tube's flightpath to the bottom of the bin interrupted, the absorbent roll momentarily taking in the energy of the tube's downward force then giving it back in equal and opposite measure.

a new course for the tube now, its rendezvous with other discarded toiletries temporarily stayed. gliding through the air on a new arc, with the poise and precision of a circus acrobat, to the waters of the adjacent toilet.

a perfect dive, expertly moving through the seat's negative space, not once touching the white porcelain, its motion undisturbed, flawless in execution.

gentle splash, then all that remained was the toothpaste tube in water, staring up at me as i stared back down at it and contemplated the strange new task i had not previously imagined would be asked of me in this life.

Monday, February 12, 2007

the same thing happens every year....

....i get one year older.

today i am 30; the number two is, from this point forward, limited to a periodic supporting role in stating my age ( at 32, 42, 52, and so on).

please join me in thanking my twenties for all of their hard work; they were pretty good to me, all things considered.