Thursday, March 22, 2007

Pre-judging someone: the commuting way!

i know that we are all human beings out there (except for the animals and plants) and that everyone by default should have a chance to present themselves fully before any character judgments are assessed about them, but if i'm driving behind you on our nation's roadways and one or both of these items adorn your car....

1) sticker of Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes fame) urinating on some logo or symbol - to communicate your personal disdain for whatever said urine-soaked logo or symbol represents

2) a pair of large metal testicles ( "brass balls", possibly?) hanging from your trailer hitch - to communicate just what a larger-than-life sum'bitch you are

....i have no choice but to deduct 50 respect points (for each infraction) from your total character score. i'm sorry, them's the rules.

1 comment:

Andre said...

I've often wondered about the implied message of the truck gonads. Perhaps as organic food comes into more demand, Detroit is jumping on the bandwagon and making their trucks organic (and reproductive?). Whatever the message, the plain fact is, unless the truck owner has "elephantitis of the nuts" (as Mr. John Bender so eloquently puts it), the truck has bigger balls than its owner.