like most adults who meet a minimum standard of personal responsibility, i brush my teeth three times per day (my normal level is twice but having been afflicted with braces for the last year and nine months it's somewhat of a necessity to brush after lunch at work so as not to be physically repulsive to those around me during conversations).
and like some i have moved into the world of motorized tooth-cleaning apparati; i had used a pretty inexpensive disposable-battery-powered brush for a while, but recently my wife bought me the same one that she uses, the Oral B Sonic Vitality. still pretty inexpensive, something like $20, but does the job well enough.
i love the fact that the Vitality has a timing mechanism; once you turn it on, it runs for two minutes and then delivers a pulsating wind-down signal to let you know "ok that's good enough for now, stop brushing before you go through the enamel and start hitting dentine." i have come to accept that i require this external source of discipline for my tooth care; i'm just waiting for the dental products industry to develop a floss that wraps itself around my fingers and compels me to do the extra in-between-tooth work.
The $20 investment also moves me out of the realm of Duracell AA's and into rechargable battery territory; what i did not bargain for in this purchase was the ensuing sense of puzzlement that this toothbrush set has provided in that regard.
the toothbrush is made of solid, hard plastic; at the bottom of the toothbrush is a small recessed cavity. the recharging station is a simple affair; an entirely plastic base upon which is fashioned a small plastic peg.
Recharging station peg A fits into toothbrush cavity B; in this manner (as pictured on the link) the toothbrush is left to recharge over the course of several hours.
http://www.oralb.com/us/products/power/vitality/?source=eds
now i was never a man who particularly excelled at the sciences but the times in which i have mused about or witnessed examples of battery power and recharging, it was always strictly a metal-to-metal contact point affair.
what manner of dark arts is Oral B tampering with to achieve battery recharging with all-plastic components? i'm not exactly sure, but somehow i feel there's a military application for whatever it is they've created. maybe Oral B is a subsidiary company of Raytheon...
anyways, i'm sure the simple answer is out there on the interweb but for now i'd like to stay in my blissfully ignorant cocoon, continuing to believe that Oral B has signed some pact with the devil to make The Toothbrush That Should Not Be (Recharging).
anyone care to burst my bubble with some truth?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Pre-judging someone: the commuting way!
i know that we are all human beings out there (except for the animals and plants) and that everyone by default should have a chance to present themselves fully before any character judgments are assessed about them, but if i'm driving behind you on our nation's roadways and one or both of these items adorn your car....
1) sticker of Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes fame) urinating on some logo or symbol - to communicate your personal disdain for whatever said urine-soaked logo or symbol represents
2) a pair of large metal testicles ( "brass balls", possibly?) hanging from your trailer hitch - to communicate just what a larger-than-life sum'bitch you are
....i have no choice but to deduct 50 respect points (for each infraction) from your total character score. i'm sorry, them's the rules.
1) sticker of Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes fame) urinating on some logo or symbol - to communicate your personal disdain for whatever said urine-soaked logo or symbol represents
2) a pair of large metal testicles ( "brass balls", possibly?) hanging from your trailer hitch - to communicate just what a larger-than-life sum'bitch you are
....i have no choice but to deduct 50 respect points (for each infraction) from your total character score. i'm sorry, them's the rules.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
offbeat poetry
6:45 a.m., bathroom, on a workday.
it was almost beautiful in a way, an exhibition of motion and the dimensions and interactions of separate objects in a fixed space.
a used-up toothpaste tube, all its resources extracted, its purpose as container fully met; its final destination a trashcan, as it should be.
so simple, a casual toss of the tube into the small refuse bin and the cycle would be complete.
but cottony two-ply fate, soft and plush, suspended above the bin, intervened. the tube's flightpath to the bottom of the bin interrupted, the absorbent roll momentarily taking in the energy of the tube's downward force then giving it back in equal and opposite measure.
a new course for the tube now, its rendezvous with other discarded toiletries temporarily stayed. gliding through the air on a new arc, with the poise and precision of a circus acrobat, to the waters of the adjacent toilet.
a perfect dive, expertly moving through the seat's negative space, not once touching the white porcelain, its motion undisturbed, flawless in execution.
gentle splash, then all that remained was the toothpaste tube in water, staring up at me as i stared back down at it and contemplated the strange new task i had not previously imagined would be asked of me in this life.
it was almost beautiful in a way, an exhibition of motion and the dimensions and interactions of separate objects in a fixed space.
a used-up toothpaste tube, all its resources extracted, its purpose as container fully met; its final destination a trashcan, as it should be.
so simple, a casual toss of the tube into the small refuse bin and the cycle would be complete.
but cottony two-ply fate, soft and plush, suspended above the bin, intervened. the tube's flightpath to the bottom of the bin interrupted, the absorbent roll momentarily taking in the energy of the tube's downward force then giving it back in equal and opposite measure.
a new course for the tube now, its rendezvous with other discarded toiletries temporarily stayed. gliding through the air on a new arc, with the poise and precision of a circus acrobat, to the waters of the adjacent toilet.
a perfect dive, expertly moving through the seat's negative space, not once touching the white porcelain, its motion undisturbed, flawless in execution.
gentle splash, then all that remained was the toothpaste tube in water, staring up at me as i stared back down at it and contemplated the strange new task i had not previously imagined would be asked of me in this life.
Monday, February 12, 2007
the same thing happens every year....
....i get one year older.
today i am 30; the number two is, from this point forward, limited to a periodic supporting role in stating my age ( at 32, 42, 52, and so on).
please join me in thanking my twenties for all of their hard work; they were pretty good to me, all things considered.
today i am 30; the number two is, from this point forward, limited to a periodic supporting role in stating my age ( at 32, 42, 52, and so on).
please join me in thanking my twenties for all of their hard work; they were pretty good to me, all things considered.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Birthday up in hizz-ere, fo shizzle
hey all, those of you that know my lovely wife Grace would not be incorrect in wishing her a happy birthday if you did so today!
(i suppose the same would still be true for any of you that don't know her but i wouldn't think you're emotionally invested enough to seek her out to deliver birthday well-wishing)
her day started the way any deserving birthday girl's should:
A) birthday kisses from our dog Pugston (followed by him standing on Grace's stomach in bed and stretching, i'm not really sure what birthday-related sentiment he was trying to convey with that action)
B) 'Happy Birthday' sung perfectly in tune just for Grace by someone with pipes that once rocked a perfect Playstation Karaoke score on Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline"
C) a birthday card with a sunglasses-wearing puppy on the outside cover and personal writings on the inside simultaneously smooth, funny, and heart-meltingly tender
due to some online order processing problems (thanks Google Checkout!) the gift originally scheduled to have come in yesterday will not be arriving until February 5th.
so there you have it, that's the way we do birthdays up in the Sobczak household!
happy birthday babe, love you.
(i suppose the same would still be true for any of you that don't know her but i wouldn't think you're emotionally invested enough to seek her out to deliver birthday well-wishing)
her day started the way any deserving birthday girl's should:
A) birthday kisses from our dog Pugston (followed by him standing on Grace's stomach in bed and stretching, i'm not really sure what birthday-related sentiment he was trying to convey with that action)
B) 'Happy Birthday' sung perfectly in tune just for Grace by someone with pipes that once rocked a perfect Playstation Karaoke score on Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline"
C) a birthday card with a sunglasses-wearing puppy on the outside cover and personal writings on the inside simultaneously smooth, funny, and heart-meltingly tender
due to some online order processing problems (thanks Google Checkout!) the gift originally scheduled to have come in yesterday will not be arriving until February 5th.
so there you have it, that's the way we do birthdays up in the Sobczak household!
happy birthday babe, love you.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
a post to interrupt the silence
hey to all who might occasionally stop by this blog to see what's going on. sorry that this site hasn't exactly been a font of interesting and/or humorous anecdotes lately; just feels like 2007 has gotten off to a quick pace in terms of work and all the other things that consume your time after you leave the office on any given workday.
also contributing to the decreased post factor of late have been my efforts to actually get away from my desk at lunch and be social with others. i really need to move this whole blogging operation out of the lunchtime slot and into the "at home watching TV" segment of the day.
rest assured i have a few post ideas that have been simmering on the backburner for a while now so if i can get myself organized (and get our finances in order, and complete our tax returns, and so on) i'll stop being a deadbeat and start providing moderate entertainment value again.
also contributing to the decreased post factor of late have been my efforts to actually get away from my desk at lunch and be social with others. i really need to move this whole blogging operation out of the lunchtime slot and into the "at home watching TV" segment of the day.
rest assured i have a few post ideas that have been simmering on the backburner for a while now so if i can get myself organized (and get our finances in order, and complete our tax returns, and so on) i'll stop being a deadbeat and start providing moderate entertainment value again.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
B to the E ( to the C.O.P.)
worked late last friday during the post-Christmas work week; came home around 7:15. went in the door, petted our domestic animals, kissed the wife as she prepared the evening's meal.
no more than a few moments later, what do we hear from the parking lot but the holiday sounds of "Help!" being shouted across the complex. assessing the situation from our window, i saw a mid-20s-ish couple running from the direction of our building towards the guard station at the front gate. shortly thereafter we went out on the balcony and, as the couple returned, asked the question with the known-in-advance answer: "is anything wrong?"
the reply was this : "there's someone in our apartment!" our neighbors across the hall had gone downstairs to see what was going on and help out so Grace had me call the cops and then sent me out as well, dual-armed with standard-issue suburban-hero pepper spray and 9-iron.
apparently the couple had both just returned home and, upon opening up their front door, immediately heard someone moving around in one of their rooms (hence the prudent and hasty relocation from the apartment to a more public area where they could call attention to the matter).
their apartment is on the first floor of our building, facing the the outside of the complex (which is bordered by a tall but not unscalable wrought-iron fence). the Breaker & Enterer had popped in one of the smaller bedroom windows to gain access to the place. by the time the militia was assembled Mr. B & E had had plenty of time to make his escape on foot, disappearing back to wherever he had come from. we looked around the area and didn't find anyone hiding underneath a car or anything. nobody, myself included, was volunteering to take a look inside the apartment.
i had just driven down our complex's street a few minutes earlier and saw no getaway car, so more than likely the perp lives right across the street; comforting.
after a few minutes of milling around and checking to make sure that i was holding the pepper spray correctly so that i didn't have one of those moments of painful comedy when trying to hose down a meth-addicted burglar, the cops pulled up. the female cop took the lead in going to the door while the male partner (who, while tall and fairly big, had a Harry Potter-esque face complete with glasses that said 'new recruit') brought up the rear with the police shotgun.
now, i realize that the situation was not "cool"; i.e. the violation of privacy and security, the possible loss of valuable goods, all in all not a good event for those affected.
but... there's something hardwired to the brain, or at least to one belonging to someone who's played Doom or any other serviceable first-person shooter, that when you hear someone ready a shotgun with the instantly-recognizable "chi-chit" of a shell being loaded in the chamber, one part of you will think "whoa...cool". it is unavoidable
long story short, the cops searched the now-personless apartment (fyi , at least in Houston it appears that the current phraseology for police before searching an area is "Police. Make Yourself Known") and found nothing.
we later learned from Officer Potter that there has been a rash of break-ins at our complex and another across the street.
our downstairs neighbors are getting out of their lease penalty-free although they're leaving without the laptop, iPod, or engagement ring that they once had.
Grace and i have been planning to look for a home this year; no better motivation to start i suppose.
no more than a few moments later, what do we hear from the parking lot but the holiday sounds of "Help!" being shouted across the complex. assessing the situation from our window, i saw a mid-20s-ish couple running from the direction of our building towards the guard station at the front gate. shortly thereafter we went out on the balcony and, as the couple returned, asked the question with the known-in-advance answer: "is anything wrong?"
the reply was this : "there's someone in our apartment!" our neighbors across the hall had gone downstairs to see what was going on and help out so Grace had me call the cops and then sent me out as well, dual-armed with standard-issue suburban-hero pepper spray and 9-iron.
apparently the couple had both just returned home and, upon opening up their front door, immediately heard someone moving around in one of their rooms (hence the prudent and hasty relocation from the apartment to a more public area where they could call attention to the matter).
their apartment is on the first floor of our building, facing the the outside of the complex (which is bordered by a tall but not unscalable wrought-iron fence). the Breaker & Enterer had popped in one of the smaller bedroom windows to gain access to the place. by the time the militia was assembled Mr. B & E had had plenty of time to make his escape on foot, disappearing back to wherever he had come from. we looked around the area and didn't find anyone hiding underneath a car or anything. nobody, myself included, was volunteering to take a look inside the apartment.
i had just driven down our complex's street a few minutes earlier and saw no getaway car, so more than likely the perp lives right across the street; comforting.
after a few minutes of milling around and checking to make sure that i was holding the pepper spray correctly so that i didn't have one of those moments of painful comedy when trying to hose down a meth-addicted burglar, the cops pulled up. the female cop took the lead in going to the door while the male partner (who, while tall and fairly big, had a Harry Potter-esque face complete with glasses that said 'new recruit') brought up the rear with the police shotgun.
now, i realize that the situation was not "cool"; i.e. the violation of privacy and security, the possible loss of valuable goods, all in all not a good event for those affected.
but... there's something hardwired to the brain, or at least to one belonging to someone who's played Doom or any other serviceable first-person shooter, that when you hear someone ready a shotgun with the instantly-recognizable "chi-chit" of a shell being loaded in the chamber, one part of you will think "whoa...cool". it is unavoidable
long story short, the cops searched the now-personless apartment (fyi , at least in Houston it appears that the current phraseology for police before searching an area is "Police. Make Yourself Known") and found nothing.
we later learned from Officer Potter that there has been a rash of break-ins at our complex and another across the street.
our downstairs neighbors are getting out of their lease penalty-free although they're leaving without the laptop, iPod, or engagement ring that they once had.
Grace and i have been planning to look for a home this year; no better motivation to start i suppose.
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